Gold Coast Schoolies Week runs from 21 to 27 November 2026. If your teen is one of the Year 12 leavers heading to Surfers Paradise, you may have already lain awake once or twice thinking about it. That is a normal response. For a lot of young people this is the first week away with friends and no adult in the next room, and you can feel proud of them and nervous for them at the same time.

What helps most is something you can do now. The moment parents tend to dread is the phone ringing at 2am, and how that call goes is mostly settled weeks before, at the kitchen table, when the two of you agree how the week will run. So this guide gives you the plan, piece by piece, with a hypothetical one-page version you can borrow. Then it covers the part most guides leave out: what to actually do when the phone rings.

Ban, Trust or a Plan

Parents usually land in one of three places. Some say no. Some say yes and hope for the best. And many look for something in between. A common view among parents online is that the in-between option, often a different trip altogether, is the one that sits best with their family.

My view is that a plan you agree together and write down beats both a flat ban and blind trust. That is also the spirit of the Queensland Government’s Safer Schoolies advice for parents, which encourages you to negotiate and set boundaries together and to lock in a communication plan before your teen goes. When you sit down and work through the likely situations with them, you show that you trust them to handle the week, and you give them something to fall back on when it gets messy. And in my view, a teen is more likely to stick to rules they had a hand in writing than to ones handed down from the other side of the table.

The other side has a fair point, and it deserves saying clearly. You are allowed to say no. Safer Schoolies says plainly that it is okay to tell your teen you do not want them to go, and if they are under 18, it is okay not to allow it. That is a legitimate decision, and nobody should make you feel unreasonable for it.

A no to the Gold Coast does not have to be a no to everything, either. A beach house with another family nearby, a few days on an island, a road trip with two close friends: any of these can be the plan, and everything below still applies. In a way, Schoolies is a practice run for the independence you have been building for years, the same everyday life skills every teen should master before adulthood. The week just asks for all of them at once.

Before They Book

Start with the group. Who is going, and how well do you know them? If there are friends you have never met, invite them over for a barbecue or a pizza night before anything is paid for. It is a relaxed way to put faces to names, and it usually gets you the other parents’ numbers too. Ask, gently, about ages. A group where most are 17 and one is already 18 is common, and it is worth talking through what that means when one friend can legally buy alcohol and the others cannot.

Next, read the accommodation agreement together, the whole thing. Both Safer Schoolies and Red Frogs suggest this, and it is easy to see why. The agreement sets out the house rules: whether visitors are allowed, whether glass is banned, what the bond covers and what gets a group evicted. Teens tend to skim it. Reading it side by side means nobody is surprised on the first night, and it gives you a natural way into the conversation about what happens if the rules get broken.

While you have it open, look at the check-in arrangements. Red Frogs notes that some hotels require an adult to be present at check-in. Far better to find that out now than at the front desk on the day, with four tired teenagers and a car full of bags.

Then there is the wristband. The Schoolies Hub sits on the beach at Surfers Paradise, and getting in needs a Safer Schoolies wristband. Wristbands are for genuine Year 12 leavers and are collected with Year 12 photo ID, so check that your teen has registered and that the ID is packed somewhere it will not go missing. The Hub is where many of the organised events happen, and you want them able to get in.

Money and the Law

Money first, because it causes more arguments than almost anything else. Safer Schoolies suggests making sure your teen has paid their share of everything, including accommodation, bond and food, before they leave. Sorting it up front saves the awkward conversation on day four about who owes what, and it means the spending money they take is actually theirs to spend. If you have already started teaching your kids about money in small ways, this is a good real-world test. Agree a figure for the week, talk about what it needs to cover, and let them manage the rest.

Now the law, in plain words. In Queensland, a person under 18 cannot buy alcohol, cannot carry it in a public place and cannot go into licensed venues. Drinking in a public place is not allowed at any age, so the beach and the street are off limits for everyone, 18 or not. If your teen is heading somewhere outside Queensland, check that state’s rules as well, because they are not the same everywhere.

There is one thing parents sometimes get wrong with the best intentions. Buying a carton for your 17-year-old and dropping it at the apartment is not supervision. The Queensland Government’s page on supplying alcohol to minors, updated in August 2026, puts the maximum fine for illegally supplying alcohol to a minor in a private place at $13,816. You may come across a lower amount on some older pages, because the value of a Queensland penalty unit went up on 1 July 2026. The current maximum is $13,816, and that is the figure to go by.

None of this is meant to frighten you. It is simply worth knowing before someone in the group asks you to do them a favour.

A One-Page Plan, Written Out

Here is how the pieces might look on a single page. What follows is a hypothetical example, not a real family. Say Ella is 17 and heading to Surfers Paradise with three friends from school. Before she goes, she and her parents sit down and agree the plan below, then stick it on the fridge and save a photo of it in her phone.

Ella’s Schoolies plan (a hypothetical example)

• Daily check-in. A message by 10am every day, even if it only says “alive, tired”. Safer Schoolies offers a 10am message or a 3pm call as examples, so pick the time that suits your teen.
• The planned call. A proper phone call on day three or four. Safer Schoolies flags this as the stretch of the week when teens are often tired and running low on money, so it is a good time to hear their voice.
• Contact sheet. The three friends’ mobile numbers, and their parents’ numbers. The accommodation address saved in her phone. An ICE (in case of emergency) contact showing on her lock screen. The Red Frogs hotline, 1300 557 123, saved under its name.
• The trusted adult. If her parents are not driving up, the name and number of the adult who will come if needed. In this example, an aunt who lives 20 minutes away.
• Money. All shares paid before she leaves. Spending money agreed, and she knows that is the budget.
• House rules. The accommodation agreement read together, so she knows what gets the group evicted.
• The early-exit rule. She can come home on any day, for any reason, and nobody argues about it or mentions the money.
• The pickup promise. If she calls at any hour, someone comes or arranges a safe way home. No questions that night.

Those last two lines are the ones to take slowly. The rest keeps the week organised, but these two are what make it easy to pick up the phone when something goes wrong. A teen who expects a lecture first tends to wait, and waiting is exactly what you are trying to avoid.

Your own version will look different. Your teen might prefer a 3pm call to a morning text, or a different trusted adult, and that is fine. What matters is that it is written down, that you both agreed to it, and that nothing on it comes as a surprise.

When the Phone Rings

So the call comes. Maybe it is 2am, maybe it is the middle of the afternoon. Whatever the time, start with a calm voice. Your teen will take their cue from you, and calm keeps them talking.

Then ask three questions:

1. Are you safe?
2. Where are you?
3. Who is with you?

Those three answers tell you most of what you need to decide what happens next. If anyone is hurt or in danger, the first call is 000, before anything else. Red Frogs gives the same advice.

During Schoolies Week there is also an Emergency Treatment Centre on the Gold Coast, offering physical, emotional and mental health support. Make sure your teen knows it is there, both for a friend who is unwell and for themselves when a night has gone badly and they just need some help.

For the in-between moments, when nobody is hurt but your teen is shaken, lost or simply wants company, Red Frogs is the call. Their volunteers can sit with someone, walk them home or just talk. The hotline runs around the clock during Schoolies Week.

If what they want is to come home, or just to get back to the apartment, this is where the pickup promise comes in. You or your trusted adult go, or you help them book a ride and stay on the line until they are in the car. It is worth reading these taxi safety tips for night rides together before they leave, so getting home late is something they have already thought through.

Afterwards, talk about it, but not on the call. The middle of the night is for getting them safe. The conversation about what happened, and what might change, can wait until everyone has slept. This is what the promise means in practice: no questions that night means none, even when you are bursting to ask. It only works if it holds, and if it holds once, your teen will trust it next time too.

The Kitchen Table Comes First

Schoolies is one week, and for most young people it will be a mix of sunburn, cheap food, late nights and stories they will tell for years. You cannot control every hour of it, and you do not need to. What you can do is sit down before they leave and agree a plan together: a daily check-in, the money sorted, the house rules read, and a pickup promise they believe.

That plan does more than a flat no or crossed fingers. And if, after talking it through, the answer for your family is no, or a different trip, that counts as a plan too. Make a cuppa, find a quiet evening and start the conversation. Whatever the phone brings in November, that talk at the table is what you will lean on.

Sources: Queensland Government, Safer Schoolies information for parents (https://www.saferschoolies.qld.gov.au/parents); Queensland Government, Supplying alcohol to minors (https://www.qld.gov.au/law/crime-and-police/types-of-crime/supply-alcohol-under-18s); Red Frogs Australia, 5 tips for parents preparing your child for Schoolies (https://redfrogs.com.au/information-for-parents/5-tips-for-parents-preparing-your-child-for-schoolies)

If this is your morning, take a breath

If you are reading this on a morning like the ones you have been having, let me start with the most important thing. You have not done anything wrong, and neither has your child.

The scene is probably familiar. A child in tears at the thought of school, or curled up in bed refusing to get up, or standing at the front door with their bag on and their body saying no. Days missed piling up. And that quiet voice asking where you went wrong, while a louder one wonders what everyone else will think.

School refusal is a recognised problem. It affects children across all ages and all kinds of families, and it is not a sign of bad parenting. It is not wagging and it is not a child being difficult for fun. Something is genuinely hard for your child about going to school, and the most useful thing you can do is approach it with calm curiosity rather than pressure.

This guide is general information for parents, not clinical or medical advice. What it offers is a calm path forward: what school refusal is, what might be underneath it, how to talk to your child, how to work with the school, and how to build a return plan gentle enough to stick. You do not need to fix everything today. Start with one conversation.

What school refusal is, and what it is not

School refusal is the term used when a child is distressed about going to school and, because of that distress, misses part or all of the school day. The distress is the key word. This is not a child skipping school to hang out with friends or because they find it boring. It is a child who wants to go, or wants to want to go, and finds that they cannot.

It can show up at any age: a prep child who cries at the gate, a Year 4 student with a stomach ache every Sunday night, a teenager who stops getting out of bed. The outward signs differ, but the pattern is similar. The thought of school produces real distress, and avoidance is the child’s way of coping.

It is not laziness, and it is not defiance. That distinction matters, because you respond to a distressed child very differently from a defiant one. Defiance calls for firm boundaries. Distress calls for understanding and support. Mistaking one for the other is the most common trap.

Most of the time, school refusal is driven by anxiety about something connected to school: separation from you, a worry about a subject, trouble with friends, or something that happened in the playground. The anxiety is real even when the reason is not obvious to the child either.

What might be underneath it

It helps to think of the refusal as the tip of something larger. Underneath it, one or more of these is often at work.

Separation anxiety is common in younger children. Being away from a parent feels unsafe, and the child’s body reacts as if something bad will happen while they are apart. It becomes school refusal when it stops them from staying at school.

Worries about school itself appear at every age. A subject the child finds overwhelming and is embarrassed about. A teacher they find intimidating. A fear of reading aloud, of tests, of getting something wrong in front of the class. These worries can build quietly for weeks before they surface as a refusal to go.

Social worries are a large part of it for many children. Bullying is the obvious one, but it does not have to be bullying. Friendship trouble, feeling left out, having no one to sit with at lunch, or navigating the shifting alliances of the playground can all make school feel unsafe.

Some children are simply overwhelmed. The noise, the busyness and the constant demands of a school day exhaust them in a way that is hard to explain. Others are reacting to something at home, a new baby, parents separating, a move, a loss, that has made the world feel less secure.

The point of this list is not for you to diagnose your child. It is to open the door to curiosity. The reason is often not what it looks like, and your job is to create a safe moment where they might be able to tell you, or where a professional can help them find the words.

Start with curiosity, not lectures

When a child is refusing school, the natural instinct is to explain why they have to go. You are right, but a lecture will not land when a child is in distress. They already know they are supposed to be at school. What they need is someone who sees that something is hard and wants to understand it.

Find a quiet moment, not the morning rush. The car on the way home, a walk together, ten minutes before bed, all work better than the front door at 8am. Ask gentle questions without an audience. If you could change one thing about school, what would it be? What is the hardest part of your day?

Listen without fixing. The urge to jump in with solutions is strong, but a child who feels heard is far more likely to keep talking than one whose every sentence is met with advice. Let them finish. Thank them for telling you. Let them know you are on their side.

Keep the questions low-pressure and open, and listen for the answer that comes out sideways, in a throwaway remark about a friend or a teacher. And be prepared for “I do not know”. A child who could explain exactly why they feel this way would probably not be refusing school, and that is exactly when a calm, patient adult matters most.

Work as a team with the school

You are not meant to do this alone, and the school is your partner, not your adversary. Most teachers have seen school refusal before, and most schools have ways to help. The earlier you bring them in, the more options everyone has.

Start with a calm message to the class teacher or the school’s wellbeing team. Explain what you are seeing without blame: the distress in the mornings, the missed days, anything your child has told you. Then ask what the school can offer. You may be surprised how much is available: a graduated return where the child comes for part of the day at first, a settled start to the morning, or a trusted adult they can check in with during the day.

If the first conversation does not lead anywhere, ask to be pointed to someone who can help. Schools have different people responsible for wellbeing and attendance, and sometimes it takes a couple of contacts to find the right one. Keep the tone collaborative. You both want the same thing: a child safely back in the classroom.

Attendance rules vary by state and territory, and schools have reporting obligations, so it is worth knowing your local education department’s expectations. That lets you plan with the school rather than against it, and a child who is struggling needs the support side working well.

Build a gentle return plan

The goal is a gradual, achievable return, not a perfect week. Forcing a full week of school immediately after a long absence usually backfires, because the child is overwhelmed and the avoidance gets stronger. A gentler return plan that starts small and builds is far more likely to hold.

A predictable morning routine helps more than almost anything else: the same wake-up time, the same breakfast, the same rhythm for leaving the house. Predictability lowers anxiety because the child knows what comes next.

A friend to meet at the gate can transform the walk in. If your child has one person they feel safe with, ask their family about meeting at the gate each morning. Walking in with a friend is far less daunting than walking in alone.

A reduced start can work well: a shorter day for the first week, or a timetable that begins with the easiest subjects and builds up. These need the school’s cooperation, which is why the teamwork above matters.

And acknowledge the hard parts. Going back after a period of refusal takes real courage. Name it. Notice the days they manage, even the partial ones, and say something specific. A child who feels seen for trying is more likely to keep trying.

Where possible, keep the child attending, even on hard days. Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but it tends to make anxiety stronger, because the child learns that staying home makes the feeling go away. Small, consistent steps teach the opposite lesson.

If the morning anxiety is overwhelming, a calm-down tool can help you both. Simple breathing exercises to calm the mind and ease stress are something a parent and child can learn together and use in those anxious moments before school. A few slow breaths will not fix everything, but they can bring the panic down enough for the next step to be possible.

When to bring in extra support

Some situations call for more help than a parent and a school can provide on their own, and reaching for it is a strength, not a failure.

A GP is the best first stop. They know your child’s history, they can rule out physical causes for the stomach aches and headaches that often come with school refusal, and they can refer you to a counsellor or psychologist if that is what your child needs. Getting a referral early is better than waiting until the situation has become entrenched.

Professional support matters if you suspect something underneath that needs its own attention, such as an anxiety disorder, neurodivergence, or a learning difficulty making school genuinely unbearable. A psychologist can help untangle what is going on and give your child tools for managing the worry. This is not about labelling your child, it is about making sure they get the right kind of help.

There are also free, confidential help lines. Kids Helpline and Parentline are staffed by people who talk to worried parents every day, and sometimes just saying the whole story out loud helps you see the next step more clearly.

None of this means you have failed. School refusal is genuinely hard and it is not caused by bad parenting. Bringing in extra support recognises that some problems are too big for one household to solve alone. And treat this guide as what it is, general information, not a substitute for advice from your child’s doctor, school or a qualified professional.

Slow and steady wins the term

If you are in the middle of this right now, let me leave you with a few quiet truths.

Your child is not giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time, and the difference matters more than almost anything else you will read. Treating the behaviour as distress rather than defiance changes how you show up, and how you show up changes how they feel about being helped.

Look after your own patience too. Supporting a child through school refusal is exhausting, and you cannot pour from an empty cup. Ask for help from your partner, your family, your friends. Take a walk. Sleep. The steadier you are, the steadier your child can be.

And remember that return plans take time. There will be good weeks and bad weeks, and wobbles are normal. A day backwards does not undo the progress you have made. Slow and steady wins the term, not the single morning.

School is where children build more than academic skills. It is where they learn to manage a day on their own, to work with other people, and to grow into the independence and life skills they will carry into adulthood. Supporting your child back into that world, at their pace, is one of the most important things you will do as a parent. You just need to keep showing up, calmly, one day at a time.

Sources:

• Raising Children Network, School refusal
• Kids Helpline, School refusal (parents)
• Your state or territory education department, School attendance and support

The calm short version

Here is a thought to hold onto before you read any further. You do not need to be good at money to teach your children about it. If you have made mistakes with money yourself, that does not disqualify you. In some ways it is the best qualification you have, because you know what the mistakes cost, and you can help your child avoid paying the same price.

Children learn about money the way they learn about most things. Not from one big lecture, but from small, repeated, real experiences. Watching you buy the groceries, counting coins into a money box, deciding what to spend their pocket money on and living with the choice. Those everyday moments are the real curriculum, and a parent who stays calm through them teaches far more than a parent who lectures.

This guide is general information about helping children learn about money, not financial advice. There are no dollar figures presented as the right amount, because the right amount is different for every family. What works is the approach, and the approach is calm, practical and consistent. The goal is not a future finance whiz. It is a child who knows that money is a tool, not a worry.

Why the money talk matters (and why it feels hard)

Money habits form earlier than most parents think. The people who study this keep finding that children’s attitudes to money, whether it feels safe or stressful, whether you save it or spend it, are largely shaped in the early primary school years. Long before a child understands interest rates or budgets, they are absorbing how the adults around them feel about money.

That might sound like pressure. Read it as reassurance instead. It means you are already teaching, whether you realise it or not. Every time you talk about a bill, put off a purchase, or explain that you are saving for something, your child is learning. The question is not whether you are teaching them about money. It is what you are teaching them.

So why does the money talk feel so hard for so many of us? Usually because nobody taught us either. Money was not discussed at the kitchen table when we were growing up, or it was discussed in tones of worry and secrecy, and we carry that awkwardness into our own parenting. We worry we will say the wrong thing, or that our own finances are not a good enough example.

Let that worry go. You are not expected to have perfect answers or a perfect financial life. You are expected to be honest, calm and consistent, and those three things are within reach of any parent who cares enough to read a guide like this one. A child does not need their parent to be a finance expert. They need their parent to be a safe person to ask questions of.

Pocket money basics: your family, your choice

Pocket money is the most practical tool most families have for teaching children about money, and it is also where the arguments tend to start. So let us settle the two questions that cause most of them, calmly.

The first question is what pocket money is actually for. The honest answer is that it is a small, safe amount of money your child can practise with. It is their money, to make their own choices about, including their own mistakes. The value is not in the amount. It is in the experience of having a little money and deciding what to do with it.

The second question is whether pocket money should be tied to chores, and this is where families genuinely differ. Some families pay for jobs done. The bins, the dishes, the dog. The thinking is that children learn that money is earned, and that work has value. Other families give an allowance and keep chores separate, on the grounds that everyone in a household contributes to it, and that paying children for chores teaches them they should only help when there is money attached.

Both approaches work. What does not work is being unclear about which one you have chosen, or changing it week to week. Decide on your rule, explain it simply, and stay consistent. If the rule is “pocket money is for jobs”, then a job not done means pocket money not paid, calmly and every time. If the rule is “pocket money is separate from chores”, then chores still get done, without negotiation, because they are part of being in a family.

The amount is a family decision, and this article deliberately does not tell you what to pay. Some families give a little, some give more, and the right amount depends on your budget, your child’s age, and what you expect the money to cover. A useful starting conversation is to ask what other families in your area do, then set an amount that is big enough for real choices, and small enough that mistakes do not matter.

A simple way to split money a child can understand

Here is a method that makes saving concrete for a child who has no concept of a bank balance. Get three jars, or three boxes, and label them. One for spending. One for saving. One for sharing.

When pocket money arrives, the child puts a coin or a note into each jar. Some to spend now, on whatever they want. Some to save, for something bigger they are working towards. Some to share, to give to a cause or someone they care about. Even a young child who cannot count yet can put a coin in each jar and watch them grow.

There are no percentages to memorise. You do not need to divide the money into strict proportions, and you should not turn the jars into a maths test. The point is the habit, and the habit is that money gets divided with intention rather than spent all at once. If a child wants to put everything in the spend jar one week, that is their choice, and it becomes a gentle conversation, not a punishment.

The three jars teach three quiet lessons. The spend jar teaches that money is for enjoying, and that spending is not shameful. The save jar teaches that money can grow towards a goal, and that waiting can make the thing sweeter. The share jar teaches that money can do good beyond yourself, a lesson that has nothing to do with finance and everything to do with the person you hope your child becomes.

When a child is a little older, the three jars can become three accounts. A savings account, a transaction account, and perhaps a donation. A child who has grown up dividing pocket money into jars will find the jump to real bank accounts completely natural.

Letting them make small mistakes early

This is the honest heart of the whole guide, and it is the hardest part for a parent to do. Let your child make small mistakes with their money, on purpose, and do not rescue them.

Here is why it matters. A child who spends their whole pocket money on the first day, on something that has lost its shine by the second day, and then has nothing left for the thing they really wanted the next week, has learned more than a child who was simply told no. The first child has felt the actual consequence. The second child has only heard a warning.

Small losses now teach the lesson that a big loss later would. If a child learns at eight that spending everything leaves nothing for the thing you want, they are far less likely to learn it at twenty-eight with a credit card in hand. Letting the small mistake happen is one of the kindest things a parent can do.

Keep this gentle, and keep it free of triumph. The point is not to catch your child out, and it is certainly not to say “I told you so” when the cheap toy breaks. It is to let reality do the teaching while you stay steady. When the child is disappointed, you can be sympathetic, and you can ask what they might do differently next time.

You do not rescue them, because rescuing teaches the wrong lesson. A child who is always topped up learns that there is always a safety net, and that spending everything is fine because Mum or Dad will fix it. The child who lives with the empty jar learns to plan. Let the empty jar do its quiet work.

Teaching by example, without turning life into a lesson

Children learn more from watching you than from anything you say, so the most powerful teaching you can do is to let them see you handle money calmly. That does not mean walking them through your bank statements. It means letting the everyday moments do the teaching.

Talk about why you are waiting to buy something. When you are saving for a family holiday or a new appliance, let your child hear you say “we are saving for that, so we are not buying this right now”. That one sentence teaches delayed gratification more effectively than any lecture.

Compare prices at the shops, out loud. When you are deciding between two brands of the same thing, let your child watch you weigh the choice. They do not need the details of your reasoning. They need to absorb that buying is a decision, and that grown-ups think before they spend.

Save for a family goal together. A jar on the bench for a day out, a shared treat, or something the whole household wants gives everyone something to contribute to. When the goal is reached and everyone enjoys the reward together, the child has felt, not just been told, that saving works.

And keep it light, because children switch off when every trip to the shop becomes a finance seminar. If you turn every purchase into a ten minute lesson, they will stop listening to the ones that matter. Let most moments just be moments, and save the deliberate teaching for the ones that count.

As children get older, the lessons can grow with them. The life skills a teenager needs before adulthood include managing money alongside cooking, laundry and time, and a teenager who has had years of small pocket money practice is far better placed to take on those bigger skills than one meeting money for the first time at eighteen.

Small amounts, steady hands

If you take one thing from this guide, take this. The habits that teach children about money are small, and they are repeated, and they work best when the parent holding them is steady. A regular pocket money day, so the child can rely on it. Clear and few rules, so there is nothing to argue about. And a parent who stays calm when a child is disappointed, because the disappointment is where the learning happens.

You will not do it perfectly. You will forget a pocket money day, lose patience in the supermarket, or even rescue a child from a mistake you promised yourself you would let them make. All of that is normal, and all of it is recoverable. Consistency is not about never slipping. It is about returning to the same calm routine after you slip.

Remind yourself what you are really doing. The child who learns to manage a small amount of pocket money now is the adult who will not be caught out by the grown-up money mistakes that quietly cost people so much, the fees, the forgotten subscriptions, the impulse buys that add up. The patterns are the same, whether the amounts are coins in a jar or dollars in an account.

So start small. Get the three jars. Pick a pocket money day. Let them make a mistake, and stay steady while they sit with it. Small amounts, steady hands, and time. That is the whole method, and it is more than enough.

Sources:

• ASIC Moneysmart, Teaching kids about money
• Raising Children Network, Pocket money and teaching children about money